Prepare for the Z-Snap

This post will not exactly be what you may expect to see on Swag Etiquette, especially based on recent posts. Recently, posts have been a bit more sympathetic to the harsh reality in dating and finish with a lesson learned. It was good while it lasted because tonight we are back on track with what made Swag Etiquette “famous;” A blog that reminds us exactly why we are still single utilizing real life stories that you can’t help but crack a smile and shout out “I feel you!” Ladies and gentleman, throw out any sense of logic. Throw out the idea of compromise. Throw out the optimistic outlook on dating. This is not a post for the politically correct. I ask you to sit back and reflect on those past relationships because tonight we will be indulging in the Z-snap.

Z-Snap: A gesture where you snap three times as you make a Z-like figure in the air. The snap often implies, "Oh no he didn't!" or "your bitch ass just got served!" More often than not, it is usually used by ghetto masters or white wangstas. Thank you for that Urban Dictionary.

If you are a frequent reader of Swag Etiquette, shout out to you, you most likely have an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, right? Damn, aren’t those exes something? One minute you are planning your lives together, the next you become perfect strangers.

For the sake of this post, let us rewind back to that whole “life planning” section. I am not sure who came up with the phrase “love conquers all” or “love is all you need” because if I did, they wouldn’t be alive today. Just kidding, don’t arrest me. These optimistic individuals clearly did not date the guy who was incapable of finishing a community college course without dropping mid-semester. I highly doubt those individuals dated the guy who refused to move out of his mother’s basement because he simply could not get it together. Those optimists must have avoided dating the ones who rack up thousands of dollars in IOUs because they simply couldn’t pay up. Those same individuals must have avoided dating the one’s who are incapable of purchasing a whip of their own and therefore use yours without contributing to gas or toll fees. Ladies, fellas, I know you hear me… Take a deep breath, crack a smile because you know it’s happened to you and indulge in that Z-snap because you feel me!

So here is where it begins. You become fed up in your relationship. No longer can you financial support this person. No longer can you emotionally cope with someone who is incapable of managing his or her life lessons. No longer will you be with someone who time and time again can’t commit. No longer can you stand to say encouraging words to someone who simply can’t hear you. More and more you grow tired and you find yourself reflecting on the relationship realizing you just can’t make it work and naturally in time, you break up. You are officially an ex.

Now here is where it gets weird and therefore evokes the classic Z-snap. I don’t know exactly how the switch happens but have you ever noticed that after a break up, you both seem to thrive? Usually. Let me explain. An ex of mine was so incredibly intelligent, it made me sick. You know, those people who can study for ten minutes and ace a test while you spend your entire night outlining and highlighting only to achieve a C- on that same text? As intelligent as he was, he simply couldn’t move forward in his college career. It wasn’t until we broke up that something clicked, I mean really clicked where the day we closed the door to the apartment we shared was the day he moved forward into the military only to specialize in nuclear engineering. I was “homeless” for 9 months post breakup. Seriously?! 

Than there was my other ex who had a similar story except in addition he was trapped in his mother’s basement. By the way, convincing a man to move out of his mother’s basement and embrace independence is no easy task. Post-breakup he enrolled in culinary arts and is living independently. Well, almost, but ill take what I can get.

My final example is the man who was incapable of committing. Oh he was my favorite; the one who will have his own chapter in the print edition of Swag Etiquette if I ever have the courage to finish it because readers, trust me, you will want to read about this one. I won’t go into full detail but lets just say, he was a great contributor in how I gained greater knowledge of “The Player.” After two years of on-again-off-again relationship statuses, our relationship or whatever it was, was a wrap. Post breakup however I came to find out he was in a 2 year committed relationship with over the top “I love you” wall-to-wall comments and a profile picture that even brings The Notebook cover to shame. I found myself perplexed and asked myself over and over, what was so hard committing to me?

I write this post because for one, I clearly can relate to the concept and secondly because of the reality it highlights when it comes to relationships. We come into each relationship better than the next. We come with greater experience in many aspects necessary. We act on lessons learned. We now have a clearer mind. I just wish I wasn’t the one who fell victim to being the teacher.

Lesson: There is no way to predict how a relationship will fall together; however, if one cannot stand on his or her own and you are unable to keep that individual afloat, let them go. It is not easy. There may be tears. There may be anger. Okay, a lot of anger; however, this I can promise. There will be a time when you find yourself able to sit back and reflect on your relationship with that individual. You will be able to share the story making full use of the Z-snap and additional expressive slang quoting “Oh yes he did!” However, while doing so, it will all be in laughter because you too are now in a better place.