Dates on Drugs

There are three basic rules regarding topics of discussion during a first date. One does not bring up politics. One does not bring up religion. One does not bring up the Ex. Now, I am here to add a fourth one to the list: One does not do drugs on a first date. Ever.

This is my story of the week I went on two dates that defied all common sense regarding Swag Etiquette:

Date One: On Tuesday, I went on a first date to Kabuki in Hollywood with a guy I met at Tru Nightclub. Now I know what you’re thinking, naturally this is going to be a disaster; after all, no one can find love in a club. Hold that thought for date two. The first part of the date went surprisingly well. We had great conversation, embraced Sake, and watched the Lakers lose by two points against the Denver Nuggets. I called it. After two bottles of Sake, it was time to embrace spontaneity and head to Agency, a club around the corner, which was infamous for it’s Tuesday night parties. After two hours in, my date five drinks deep with two bathroom stops between each one, I grew a bit impatient. Ladies, always drive on a first date, even if it is just four blocks away because than this happens. My date questioned my viewpoint on drugs and proceeded to inform me that a group of four individuals were doing lines of Coke on the sidelines. I could tell he was curious to see my reaction and found him hesitant to continue on the conversation once my reservations were revealed. I was speechless. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not here to pass judgment on one’s drug preferences. However, within five minutes after my display of discomfort, my Tuesday date did lines with Hollywood groupies. This was the first and the last date we had.

Date Two: A date was scheduled with a guy a friend of mine introduced me to who was an employee at Kabuki the following day. Remember when I said about “not finding love at the club”? Well this motto includes Sushi restaurant staff. Date two began with my date being over an hour late after I already crossed town and battled LA traffic. After the exhausting date I had just the day before, I requested a low key night on the terrace sitting pool side with a glass of wine and good conversation. Note to self, always ask the individual’s age before day dreaming a class act evening, 21 year olds miss the memo. After apologizing for his tardiness, the next set of words out of Sushi employee’s mouth were “do you smoke?” He was more excited by my answer regarding my appreciation for God’s plant than seeing me. Walking into his apartment was like walking into a frat house for yes, you guessed it, 21 year olds. The coffee table was filled with bongs that clearly had not been cleaned since they were purchased. His fridge included only one item: beer. However, I must admit, after what I've been through, I couldn’t help but throw my hands up in the air and dive into that college mentality. Now let me remind my readers, YOLO sounds like a great motto but I would not recommend it for a first date. Not only did my date get cross faded with his other four roommates, he partnered with a friend known as ADD. He took a shot. He sang to me. He cleaned. He worked on music production. He took off for 10 minutes with his roommates to have bro talk. He apologized 10 times. He continued to mess up our date 30 more times. My date simply lost it. His phone number was immediately deleted. 

Lesson: Do not discuss politics, religion, the ex, or do drugs on a first date. You know what, leave the first three if it means avoiding the fourth. I respect the YOLO mentality but with all do respect, ditching your date in a nightclub for ten minutes as you do a line of Coke is not Swag, it’s illegal. Taking your date to your apartment to get cross faded is not Swag, it’s the last time you will hear from me.