Stacks on Racks

Now I find it safe to say that I am quite an opened minded girlfriend, especially when it comes to the sex industry. Pause right there. Don’t worry, this is not a NC-17 rated blog but it does introduce the topic of what is standard swag etiquette when it comes to men and the strip club.

Disclaimer: All individuals are unique and I have no intention to look down upon those in a partnership that do find enjoyment in activities outside what society defines as “acceptable” or “normal” in regards to sexuality. I am simply speaking from my own personal experience and preference.

I was dating a guy for about a year and it was time to spice it up. We decided to walk down Market Street in San Francisco after a couple of drinks at a nearby club. If you know San Francisco, you know Market Street is probably not the best place to select a strip club, especially on a weeknight. We saw it all. Baby mamas, mamas about to have babies, and everything in between, literally. Surprisingly, the evening went well and it was time to introduce him to one of San Francisco’s hottest strip clubs, Centerfolds. I could tell he was nervous. I reassured him to enjoy himself as we took a seat and assumed the role as professional critics. After an hour of darting eyes, sweaty palms, and an uncomfortable posture, he finally relaxed and decided to embrace sin.  I nudged him to go get a lap dance by my top pick. He happily obliged.

Now this is where it got out of hand. Mind you this is the same guy from the post “The Decline.” By the end of the night, my boyfriend managed to seek out three lap dances, $60 a piece and convince the entire nightclub that he was capable of singing “Racks on Racks” without looking like a complete contradiction. This was the same night as my birthday celebration. I was fortunate to be intoxicated during this experience.

I would never have even thought to bring up this topic if it wasn’t for someone I recently went on a date with that decided to mirror this same issue. It was a casual date where I came over to his apartment and we decided to get to know each other over poorly made cocktails and Sports Center. After a couple of hours of monotonous conversation, we decided we would check out a club on Hollywood Blvd. and bring his roommate along. No sooner had the two begun to discuss plans about heading over to the local strip club before heading to Hollywood. I simply stood there in confusion.

After the level of testosterone hit an all time high, I questioned their intentions. I was informed that this location was the perfect spot for drink specials, appetizers, and music. Naturally, there was no mention of strippers. I couldn’t help but be disappointed, I was actually intrigued but my invite was never sent. My date simply decided to cut our session short so he could “pre-party” before our night out.

Lesson: Every guy deserves to embrace temptation in moderation. However, fellas, when you decide to cut a date short or leave your girlfriend for two hours to watch a live version of a Tyga video in the backroom, that’s not swag. That's rude.