Angry Single Women: "The Bipolar Effect"

Ladies and Gentlemen: this post may be the most vital one you read. Ladies, how often do you find that you are pursuing or being pursued by someone but suddenly it all seems to “fall apart.” You notice that that someone stops sending you that “Good morning” text, fails to pay recognition when you are present, or simply stops coming around? You find yourself questioning the reasoning behind all of this and naturally you blame him. Well ladies, I am here to inform you it’s because you are guilty of “The Bipolar Effect.”

So what do I mean by “The Bipolar Effect?” First off, I thought it sounded better than “bat-shit crazy” but in all honesty, sit back and think about it:

Bipolar: This disorder causes the person to have mood swings frequently, usually triggered by something small. Mood swings can also occur for no apparent reason, and not to the person's control.

Case Study 1: A good friend of mine was “talking” to a young woman who he shared amazing chemistry with. I could watch the two for hours. They would be in a room full of chaos, not even talking, yet managed to just know what one another was thinking. Eventually the concept of “taking it to the next level” began to vastly approach. In an instant my friend heard it all, “I’m too busy,” “I’m overwhelmed,” “I don’t believe in relationships,” and the infamous “I need space.” Naturally, my friend began to do exactly that. Suddenly, his text inbox was filled with "what are you doing?" and “when are we going to hang out?” She found herself frustrated by his lack of contact and anxious the minute he entered the room and questioned, “why is he avoiding me?” After months of witnessing him dating girls both you and I could only dream of, she reached out and informed him "I miss you.” They have a date next week.

Case Study 2: It was a two hour long vent session that included “what the hell was he thinking?!” and “I need to buy him a book on communication!” between my girlfriend and I. Naturally, men and their lack of communication arose and frustrations regarding who says “I love you” first was questioned. She explained that even after two years it was not being said and couldn’t understand why. So I asked her, “Well, do you love him?” She hesitated and found herself unable to answer and immediately explained “Even if I don’t know, he needs to say it!” Clearly, women are “bat-shit crazy.”

Case Study 3: Ladies and gentlemen: This is the case study that makes me an expert on “The Bipolar Effect.” Now given that I was newly single I made it my 2012 New Years Resolution to remain single the entire 12 months. Within the same day of my breakup, I found myself splurging on the idea of romance with someone who turned out to be more complicated than imagined. If he texted often, I became indifferent. If he texted “K” after a twenty minute pre-approved by my girls text, I became infuriated. If it was an “I miss you” after two days of not hearing from him, you can guarantee my wine glass was filled and my phone was across the room. No seriously, that happened. Finally, he asked the most ideal question that could have simplified it all, “What do you want?” Any person who knew me could have answered the question in seconds but I found myself unable to speak. Suddenly I didn’t know what I wanted despite me spending the last few months daydreaming what could have been. Why was I unable to answer a question I knew I had the answer for? Simple. “The Bipolar Effect.”

Lesson: Fellas, I empathize with you, truly I do. It is no wonder you have mastered an indifferent mentality when it comes to “angry single women.” So here is my gift to you all, a lesson to all women guilty of “The Bipolar Effect.” Ladies, I encourage you to take a step back from situations where you find yourself caught up and unable to clearly define exactly what you want. The fellas are already well aware that us females are ridiculously complicated but let us make an attempt to give them one less reason to lose faith in us.