Call Failed

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We have a situation readers, a very serious situation. So serious this post just couldn’t wait for its Sunday debut. Told you I would be back. I want you readers to take a minute. Pause for half a second because that is all you need. Now ask yourself, “Where is my cell phone?” That didn’t take you long, did it? In fact, I strongly have a feeling you were contemplating sending that text out or refreshing your Instagram as you clicked on this blog post. I am not going to lie, I am texting right now. Okay, but I have an excuse right? My girlfriend just had a great night with a new man she is seeing and let’s just say she is providing blog worthy material.

It is amazing how connected we are to our cell phones. So connected that we fail to forget who we are on a date or in a relationship with.  I mean honestly, my observations of cell phone usage on dates have led me to this vary blog post and begging for your attention. Readers, many of you and your partners are in serious need of a blog intervention and this is where it begins.

Remember that month I disappeared for a little while? Well you see I'm going to just say that was an educational experience because I was seeing someone who was clearly seeing someone else. By someone else I mean a cell phone and the man had two phones for reasons I still do not understand. This man is the individual that led me to shout, “I will not tolerate a cell phone in the bedroom!” But let me rewind. Lets discuss first date etiquette and cell phone usage.

I went to the Grove a while ago with my girlfriends at a beautiful restaurant in the center of all the action. That time of night when candles are lit, the warm breeze of LA smog screens through you, and the smells of perfectly cooked herbs consume your senses. Again, just kidding, if you know me, you know I can’t smell. This was perfect and worked to my advantage. While others were preoccupied by such beautiful distractions, I was occupied by a horrible disaster. Now I know this was a first date because I in fact saw the first engagement, the awkward hug, and the sit down. This is the first time a red flag was raised and I knew a blog on cell phone usage would be needed. Now I have to ask and beg for an explanation, who in the world thinks it is okay to bring an Ipad also known as an overly large cell phone to a dinner date? I know what you might be asking yourself, “perhaps this was a business meeting?” Yea, I don’t know about you but I have never shared a dessert with a business partner in this type of setting while I play on my overly large cell phone and my “business partner” spend the evening with what now looks like technology for ants. Now this date could have been saved believe it or not by using this technology to his advantage. Perhaps showing his date images of a recent trip could have made him seem a lot more interesting than what his appearance made him out to be. Or perhaps using his overgrown Iphone to look up funny stories, promote engagement and laugher breaking the tension on this unfortunate date. Whatever the case is, it was the worst-case scenario for technology on a date. Cheers to romance tech users at The Grove, I can’t wait to see how the next date goes. Oh that’s right, there wont be one.

I was recently on a dinner date with a man friend; I guess that’s what we call the man you’re currently seeing without the title.  Now next to us was what looked like a first date because honestly if what I saw was a relationship, I’d have some serious concerns for the romance department. I’m just playin’, we are way past that point. The woman looked beautiful and clearly took longer than the fifteen minutes I had taken that night to get ready. Now the man could use some style suggestions, I’ll admit, but we are going to let that slide because he was guilty of a much more heinous crime. On this disaster date, the man made minimal eye contact, chewed on a toothpick and spent the entire night focused on his cell phone. My date and I observed the girl holding her head up high, no cell phone in sight and tried to make the best of the situation. The woman looked around and smiled at passing waiters in between sighs of disappointment. What felt like an over extended outing on a Sunday night, the observed disaster date finally came to a close reminding me how lucky I was to be on a date where he did not take out his cell phone once.

So now we see why bringing a cell phone on a date quite possibly rules you out for a second date. Now imagine turning a blind eye and actually dating this individual. First let me clarify, the man I am about to mention was nothing close to a boyfriend but rather a few dates and a damn good time, when the cell phone was put away. Now the first few dates with this individual were perfectly executed, beautiful in fact they he led me to consider someone who was not exactly fitting to my ideal man. However, slowly he began to introduce me not to his friends nor family but his significant other. By significant other I mean the cell phone that failed to leave his side. If we were eating, it was dining with us. If we were watching a movie, legally downloaded of course, it was viewing with us. If we were in conversation, it was listening as was the constantly refreshed apps. If only it stopped there. You see, not only did I seem to be dating someone who was dating his cell phone, I was also dating the women in his phone. I was voluntarily introduced to ex-girlfriend chats and photos, current “female friend” forwarded e-cards and selected emojis and lets not forget his favorite Instagram uploads. Now I applaud his efforts in using his significant other as a way to engage with me, but honestly, once we had sex I’d like to think we didn’t need the crutch of a cell phone to promote conversation. Ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t stop there. Here is where I want you to take a deep breath and prepare for the Z-snap because If it was possible, he would have been on that phone during foreplay and everything beyond if he could have it his way. Pre and post play, texts were sent, apps were refreshed, tweets were tweeted and new photos were uploaded. We no longer follow each other or exchange texts, we decided it was better to be disconnected.

Lesson: I see this all the time. I see individuals walking side by side but no longer walking hand and hand. No longer is conversational engagement put into practice but rather had over a social media site or with an individual who could not make it to the date. The use of a cell phone is often said to be a crutch, after all, it is something we have become so familiar with. Others believe the cell phone addiction is simply based on just that, an addiction and habit. Whatever the case is, these actions are a sure way to reveal that you have no intention to engage in live and in color with the individual who took time out of their busy schedule to see you in hopes of going beyond the text message, the follow, the “added friend” or “The New Match.” I can’t help but shake my head and laugh every time I see it knowing what the beauty in small social interactions is all about. The things you catch while engaging with an individual face to face are necessary in a connection beyond the “LOLs,” the “Wyd?” and perfectly selected e-cards and emoticons. I beg you all, put your cell phone down and disconnect from the outside world for just one moment so you can see what is in front of you.