Two Date Rule

I practice what I preach, most of the time. Alright, some of the time, however, I swear by a little thing called the “Two Date Rule.” So what exactly is the “Two Date Rule”? I firmly believe that when taking on the challenge of a first date, a second date should follow. Now I know it sounds a bit exhausting going on a second date with someone who didn’t quite do it for you the first time around. That I get, but honestly, take a moment and think how many times you wish you could redo a first impression. You remember my post, First Impression? A prime example of what a disastrous first impression one can make on a first date. As much swag as we may claim to have, we sometimes miss the mark, especially on a first date. On a first date you may find yourself over talking, under talking, feeling out of your element, falling down stairs or breaking doorknobs. Trust me, it happens.

Meeting someone in the city of Los Angeles or any city for that matter is never an easy task. Scratch that. Meeting someone who was able to catch your eye, having the courage to approach you and ask for your number respectfully, and formulating a proper sentence asking you on a proper date was a rare thing to find.  These individuals who show effort deserve a second chance, so why not take a risk and try it out? You may often find yourself claiming, “he seems like a great guy and full of potential but I am just not physically attracted to him.” I beg you, put your ego aside for one moment and take part in that second date. You would be surprised in how chemistry can alter the way you see someone. Have a second date in an element your date may be able to truly relax. The first date at a restaurant is a classic but not for everyone. If your date shows interest in nature, embrace it on your second by going on a hike, spending a day at the beach, or taking walk through the botanical gardens. Look, I just saved you money for your second date. You will be amazed by how much more you can learn about someone in his or her element and have clearer judgment if a third date should follow.

Like every rule, there are always exceptions. If you're date takes part in any of the following 5 exceptions, end the date with a thank you and a remove his or her contact from your phone list. A "Do Not Pickup" label is also recommended in the case you found yourself a stalker. 

The Exceptions:

Exception 1: If your date is 45 minutes late and does not call or text, he does not value your time and therefore does not deserve yours.

Exception 2: If you discover your date does a line of Coke or does multiple bong rips and whiskey shots on the first date, don’t stick around for a relationship filled with financial problems due to a codependency problem.

Exception 3: If your date is in any way emotionally, sexually, or physically abusive, don’t stick around to find out whether or not you can “change” him or her. No exception.

Exception 4: If your date is affiliated with a gang or mob, probably a smart decision to exit gracefully. Don’t get me wrong, I love a man who can throw a little hood lingo at me, but when he indulges in a closet filled with red or blue tall T’s and a 9mm Caliber in the nightstand, it’s time to cut him loose. I rather not have my big break by being featured on the evening news.

Exception 5: He’s wifed up. She’s Taken. I know what you’re thinking, why is someone who is already spoken for going on a first date? You are reading Swag Etiquette, does anything still surprise you? You’re sideline material.

Lesson: A first date is no easy task and often times find ourselves or our dates lacking perfect movie script material during conversation. Give that individual a second chance, you may be surprised in how much you may learn from someone who you were so close to dismissing. Dating is an experience and can help you determine the individual you are looking for or even discover things about yourself. And if all else fails, you can always write a blog about those disastrous dates. Welcome to the birth of Swag Etiquette. 

Dates on Drugs

There are three basic rules regarding topics of discussion during a first date. One does not bring up politics. One does not bring up religion. One does not bring up the Ex. Now, I am here to add a fourth one to the list: One does not do drugs on a first date. Ever.

This is my story of the week I went on two dates that defied all common sense regarding Swag Etiquette:

Date One: On Tuesday, I went on a first date to Kabuki in Hollywood with a guy I met at Tru Nightclub. Now I know what you’re thinking, naturally this is going to be a disaster; after all, no one can find love in a club. Hold that thought for date two. The first part of the date went surprisingly well. We had great conversation, embraced Sake, and watched the Lakers lose by two points against the Denver Nuggets. I called it. After two bottles of Sake, it was time to embrace spontaneity and head to Agency, a club around the corner, which was infamous for it’s Tuesday night parties. After two hours in, my date five drinks deep with two bathroom stops between each one, I grew a bit impatient. Ladies, always drive on a first date, even if it is just four blocks away because than this happens. My date questioned my viewpoint on drugs and proceeded to inform me that a group of four individuals were doing lines of Coke on the sidelines. I could tell he was curious to see my reaction and found him hesitant to continue on the conversation once my reservations were revealed. I was speechless. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not here to pass judgment on one’s drug preferences. However, within five minutes after my display of discomfort, my Tuesday date did lines with Hollywood groupies. This was the first and the last date we had.

Date Two: A date was scheduled with a guy a friend of mine introduced me to who was an employee at Kabuki the following day. Remember when I said about “not finding love at the club”? Well this motto includes Sushi restaurant staff. Date two began with my date being over an hour late after I already crossed town and battled LA traffic. After the exhausting date I had just the day before, I requested a low key night on the terrace sitting pool side with a glass of wine and good conversation. Note to self, always ask the individual’s age before day dreaming a class act evening, 21 year olds miss the memo. After apologizing for his tardiness, the next set of words out of Sushi employee’s mouth were “do you smoke?” He was more excited by my answer regarding my appreciation for God’s plant than seeing me. Walking into his apartment was like walking into a frat house for yes, you guessed it, 21 year olds. The coffee table was filled with bongs that clearly had not been cleaned since they were purchased. His fridge included only one item: beer. However, I must admit, after what I've been through, I couldn’t help but throw my hands up in the air and dive into that college mentality. Now let me remind my readers, YOLO sounds like a great motto but I would not recommend it for a first date. Not only did my date get cross faded with his other four roommates, he partnered with a friend known as ADD. He took a shot. He sang to me. He cleaned. He worked on music production. He took off for 10 minutes with his roommates to have bro talk. He apologized 10 times. He continued to mess up our date 30 more times. My date simply lost it. His phone number was immediately deleted. 

Lesson: Do not discuss politics, religion, the ex, or do drugs on a first date. You know what, leave the first three if it means avoiding the fourth. I respect the YOLO mentality but with all do respect, ditching your date in a nightclub for ten minutes as you do a line of Coke is not Swag, it’s illegal. Taking your date to your apartment to get cross faded is not Swag, it’s the last time you will hear from me.